Guest Post: Punk Rock Wedding Cake by the Vampire Cake Baker

Greetings Holy Handcrafter Readers,

I am the recipient of a number of wonderful and holy handcrafts and in return have submitted some pictures of my baking for your perusal.

As a vampire, I find that I have to spend most days hidden away inside as my pale complexion cannot take the sun. I don’t like the taste of people, and so the vampire cake baker was born. My cake makes people do my bidding, and friends don’t find your staying in during the day suspicious if you bring them cake in the evening.

This is a cake I made for the beautiful wedding of two such friends. The bottom layer is raspberry and vanilla marble cake  (made of course with fresh raspberries making a lovely pink swirl), the next is a lemon cake, followed by a simple vanilla sponge, and the top (only eaten by the bride and groom) was awesomely chocolaty. Don’t choose one cake – HAVE THEM ALL!

I highlighted the stars and piping with sparkle dust, because no one can ever have enough edible sparkles, in my opinion. The cake topper of the King and Queen of hearts was the happy couples’ idea, and looked amazing.

This cake kept me out of the sun for a good few weeks, and left me nice and pale for the wedding.

I go back to the shadows now,

Vampire Cake Baker

……oh, and yes, I do turn into a bat – just big enough to steal cupcakes from those who are not vigilant. Mwaaa haaa haa haaa haa.



Filed under Food Glorious Food, Vampire Cake Baker

12 responses to “Guest Post: Punk Rock Wedding Cake by the Vampire Cake Baker

  1. Love it. :)

    You make cakes, and you steal cakes.

    That is a whole lot of cake…

    • vampire cake baker

      true, tis a lot of cake…..
      …….but i find i need plenty of cake to make the days go quickly, it makes me less likely to indulge my vampiric need to throw waterbombs at the children in the park.

  2. holyhandcrafter

    Leaves no one wondering why she is my friend then…

  3. This cake was the bomb-diggity. Couple and guests all agreed!

  4. holyhandcrafter

    Damn right – can the couple vouch for how good the chocolaty layer was, please?

  5. The chocolatey layer was promptly devoured by the couple the following day. It was … how do you say… delish!!

    • Shockyarn aka yer Mam

      Let it be knownst that the cakey cut-offs were promptly devoured by the ravenous Gobblers of ye Palace of Westminster with muchly relish.

  6. holyhandcrafter



  7. I often wondered if there were other vampire cake makers and now I have found the answer. Lovely job on that wedding cake.


  9. Hi, good day. Wonderful post. You have gained a new subscriber. Pleasee continue this great work and I look forward to more of your great blog posts.

  10. The Loris

    The Loris loved the lemony layer. It was scrummy in her tiny tummy (that has since grown insanely due to cake and biscuit overload…). Anyway, the VCB (Vampire Cake Baker) does make exceedingly good cakes. The Loris has to come up with some celebration in order to ask the VCB to make her something lovely.

    I suppose it is a step too far to just marry someone to get wedding cake…? lala laaaaa

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